When I think about death I think primarily of the living. I don't know if this makes me seem cold or emotionless or if it is a transformation of thought that allows me to ignore reality.
Because yesterday was your death date. And it came for me a bit unexpected. The last time we heard your voice, we all thought you were doing fine. It exuded joy, happiness, and every bit of normality as possible. It was beautiful, and a beautiful last thought to hold on to forever within.
You were nothing less than loved and I hope the strength you've exhibited in this life will remain here with the ones who loved you. Your mother. Your daughter. Your sisters. Your... family.
Please Beverly Jean you have to leave it here. You have to leave everyone your strength. For a mother to lose her first born child, the first joy she's ever known. For a daughter to lose her world, because you carried it for her on your shoulders. For younger sisters to lose the first person they looked up to. For a husband to lose his one true love.
... needless to say ... it's hard. I hope they can carry with them the same strength that you have so that when you look down upon us you are not filled with sadness looking at sad people during sad times. Give them your spirit of strength so that the warmth you placed around us and within us will always remain.
For we are happier now that you are free of a cancerous burden and walking hand in hand with your father. Daddy's girl. But we are sadder because we have lost our Beverly Jean.
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